Dodgy Space

For some reason this blog ranks well for “female law enforcement officers nude” and similar variations. Seems it has something to do with this previous post.

I took up dancing because I was bored with jogging.

I took up dancing because I was completely uncoordinated.

I took up dancing because you don’t see many fat dancers.

I stuck with dancing because, if you’re open to it, you can learn more about other people in a minute of dance than an hour of conversation.

Okay, I lie a little, you do see bigger people in dancing classes but they typically seem to be losing weight pretty quickly.

As chance would have it I started with swing dancing - the Charleston and the Lindy Hop. Very energetic and very cool.

Oh yeah, apparently if you dance on at least 11 days a month you reduce your risk of dementia by 65%. I like those odds.

Anyway check out swing legend Frankie Manning on his 92nd birthday.

Ok before you do anything else go and read the Hackers Diet and Tim Ferriss’s How to Lose 20 lbs. of Fat in 30 Days… Without Doing Any Exercise. Both free and online.

Now both these approaches recommend substantially reducing the amount of carbohydrates in your diet. There is a good reason for this - carbohydrates provide your body with an easily digested and readily available source of energy. Really useful if you’re working out in the fields all day or running a marathon but disastrous if you have a sedentary lifestyle. If you’re going to lose weight you need to start burning your stored body fat and you can’t do that if you’ve got blood stream full of sugar.

The good news is that your body is very good a burning it’s own fat, just as it is also very good at taking surplus energy and turning it to fat.

The bad news is that your going to spend at least 6 weeks feeling the weirdest physical sensations you’ve ever felt since puberty. Expect insomnia. Expect great energetic days followed by shit blah days. Expect a rollercoster ride. But keep at it - eat right, drink lots of water, do the exercise and watch your body shrink .

Oh yeah - measure every day…. weight and waist line (at the navel) and remember going down… good - going up… bad

According to Wiki Books the defining dance move of Lindy Hop is the swingout.

Here they have a breakdown of the Savoy Swingout and see the vid below for some fancy swingouts.

This is a cool clip of Shorty George and Big Bea. Shorty George is supposedly the person who coined the name “Lindy Hop”

Never underestimate the profound effect that regular walking can have on your life. Half an hour of mild cardiovascular exercise three time a week has been shown to reduce body fat, decrease risk of heart disease, improve heart and lung performance, improve bone strength and increase stamina. It is also very good for your back muscles - something that has proved important for me in the management of my own back pain.

Of course it is hard to get motivated to start walking when you feel like Jabba the Hutt.

So how do you start then?

Well start with small walks. Do a few minutes and if you get tired sit down and rest. Try to go a little further every day.

Build up to 5 to 10 minutes of walking, once or twice a day.

As you you get more comfortable with walking longer distances begin to add more walking into your life.

Things you can do include:

- stop using the car for short journeys
- walk to the milk bar
- park further away from your destination rather than wasting time and fuel looking for a closer parking spot
- if the bus or tram is late start walking to the next stop
- get a pedometer and try to do at least 10000 steps per day
- go for a walk before breakfast and/or dinner - this is a great way to prepare for the day or unwind after work
- walk to your TV and turn it off
- get an ipod and install some good walking music. Walking is so much easier when you have music to pace yourself.

And remember to wear decent walking shoes and appropriate clothing for your weather conditions.

My favourite is to adopt a “hunter gatherer” approach to getting food. I made the personal rule that I must walk to buy all food. This means walking to the market, walking to the grocers and especially walking to buy take-a-way food.

Start trying these and before you know it you will be comfortable walking in 1/2 hour blocks. This will be the first step towards developing a life time exercise program.

Next up I’ll talk a bit about food and diet.

Over the last two years I’ve been engaged in a process of personal transformation that has included reducing my weight by over 30 kg and becoming significantly healthier and fitter.

Lately people around me have been noticing the change - especially after a recent effort of losing 15kg in 2 months - and have been asking me what I did to achieve this weight loss. My usual answer has been “eat well and exercise heaps”, but really there is a lot more to it than that and I have decided to document some of the strategies I used to make these changes.

Firstly a word of warning though - please consult a doctor before attempting to do a weight loss of this size. Make sure you have ruled out any health issues that may be causing your weight problem or may put you at risk if you try to lose weight rapidly.

Okay, now for the obligatory before shots. To put these in context, over 2004 - 2005, I began to gain weight very quickly. Like many people who spend their lives chained to a computer, I was indulging in a diet that consisted of a lot of takeaway food, alcohol (beer & stout mainly) and soft drink.

By April 2005 I was looking like this:-

By December 2005 I had clocked my scales, over 130kg (20 stone), and was finding 6XL t-shirts to be tight. I eventually hit 135kg before I started losing weight:-

It was after seeing that photo that I realized something really need to be done and this is what I will detail in future postings.

And here is me today at 104kg. Obviously I still have a bit to still lose but I’m well on track. My current goal is to get my weight and waist measurements below 100kg and 100cm, then to get my body fat into the lower end of the healthy range for my age.

Anyway next up I’ll talk about how to begin exercising when you feel like Jabba the Hutt.

Late one Christmas past, two Digital Screen Artists set out to make a e-mail xmas card to save time and money.
The following footage is all that was found at the studio scene..
Neither of the artists have been seen in one piece since.
We have put the digitally re-mastered footage on You Tube this xmas in a hope that some one, or something, might come forward with the truth.

A woman brought a very limp duck to the veterinarian’s office. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, your pet duck Cuddles has passed away.

“The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” he replied.

“How can you be so sure,” she protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the lab and led it out of the exam room. He returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, miaowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.” Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill.

She screamed, “£150.00!” “£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now £150.”

The following was submitted to ezifriends. The poor translation is typical of many of the Russian scammers who try to represent themselves as coming from the US.

Greetings to me of 27 years. At leisure I love visit the various entertaining centers, for example in theatres, cinemas and discos. I in itself the creative person. I go to a training hall, I try to support in the form the figure. My most favourite hobby to exploit horses. To go by horses at me such predilection since the childhood. I like to talk to different people, I love new acquaintances. I think that my life will consist the most part of dialogue. I like to have a rest well on the nature, to relax, take a breath of fresh air, to have a rest from daily vanity. I shall tell a little about character: doing not plane, pleasant in dialogue, with good sense of humour. I have no harmful habits such how to smoke, there is no such habit frequently to take alcoholic drinks, I prefer a bittern better natural juice as I care of the health.